Nulltinpib is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, generous elephant.

Nulltinpib created an electron two million years ago.

If you believe in Nulltinpib, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nulltinpib, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Nulltinpib's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Nulltinpib's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nulltinpib.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.