Volteenvadflamdibpaghug is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, omniscient human.

Volteenvadflamdibpaghug created the planet Venus eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volteenvadflamdibpaghug, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Volteenvadflamdibpaghug, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Volteenvadflamdibpaghug's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Volteenvadflamdibpaghug's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Volteenvadflamdibpaghug four times a day.

2. Never think about dark energy near dolphins while wearing blue rings and balancing seven carbon spheres on your back.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

5. Learn five new languages a year.