Getarfgam is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust bird.

Getarfgam created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getarfgam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Getarfgam, she will curse you with boils.

Getarfgam's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Getarfgam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Getarfgam in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about goats.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Getarfgam.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.