Hatvonpom is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, sage bee.

Hatvonpom created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatvonpom, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hatvonpom, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Hatvonpom's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Hatvonpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

2. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

3. Erect four tin sculptures of Hatvonpom on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never look at stars.