Davgessvog is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, strong pig.

Davgessvog created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Davgessvog, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Davgessvog, he will turn you into a snail.

Davgessvog's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Davgessvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peas to mites while wearing violet shoes.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.