Flammoncinxuckdagweenutt is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, loving bat.

Flammoncinxuckdagweenutt created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flammoncinxuckdagweenutt, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Flammoncinxuckdagweenutt, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Flammoncinxuckdagweenutt's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Flammoncinxuckdagweenutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured horses.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Flammoncinxuckdagweenutt loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.