Bastsakham is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, contented wolf.

Bastsakham created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastsakham, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bastsakham, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Bastsakham's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bastsakham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. You must never eat bananas.