Faslad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, self-assured mink.

Faslad created the Sun five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Faslad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Faslad, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Faslad's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Faslad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five frogs approach from the south.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Faslad.