Linparksad is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, awesome shark.

Linparksad created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linparksad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Linparksad, it will send you a sign.

Linparksad's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Linparksad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not hurt manatees.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near goats while wearing purple shoes and balancing three silver spheres on your face.

5. Never leap in holy places.