Farnmitlam is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, fast dog.

Farnmitlam created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnmitlam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Farnmitlam, he will curse you with boils.

Farnmitlam's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Farnmitlam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not eat parsnips.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Hide if five badgers approach from the north.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.