Ladsitwon is a god.

He takes the form of a small, temperamental weasel.

Ladsitwon created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladsitwon, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ladsitwon, he will think nothing of it.

Ladsitwon's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Ladsitwon's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.