Doghombonk is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, annoying mink.

Doghombonk created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Doghombonk, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Doghombonk, he will turn you into a rock.

Doghombonk's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Doghombonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats in need.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Doghombonk on top of all buildings.

5. Do not chop down trees.