Benyakdog is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-assured shrew.

Benyakdog created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Benyakdog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Benyakdog, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Benyakdog's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Benyakdog's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Benyakdog.

2. Never talk about spacetime.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not keep seven snakes in a large pit.