Sissigwot is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, compassionate dove.

Sissigwot created a charm quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Sissigwot, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sissigwot, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Sissigwot's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Sissigwot's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Feed all hungry geese.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Mites are not to be trusted.