Arptipyar is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, confident pig.

Arptipyar created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arptipyar, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Arptipyar, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Arptipyar's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Arptipyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near rats while wearing cyan scarves and balancing five gold spheres on your neck.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always help sick dolphins.