Jopbonkquag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish chicken.

Jopbonkquag created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopbonkquag, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jopbonkquag, it will throw large rocks at you.

Jopbonkquag's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Jopbonkquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick mice.

2. Always obey Jopbonkquag's priests.

3. You must never eat rice.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.