Getfodbem is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, boastful snail.

Getfodbem created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Getfodbem, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Getfodbem, she will turn you into a mole.

Getfodbem's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Getfodbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near dolphins while wearing turquoise tights and balancing four nickel spheres on your hands.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always obey Getfodbem's priests.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Retreat if six manatees approach from the east.