Vilmetbem is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, emotional faun.

Vilmetbem created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilmetbem, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vilmetbem, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vilmetbem's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Vilmetbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Hide if five foxes approach from the east.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. You must love Vilmetbem.

5. Never feed lots of parsnips to swans while wearing pink skirts.