Fidmutgeptal is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, contented dog.

Fidmutgeptal created a Higgs boson five million years ago.

If you believe in Fidmutgeptal, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fidmutgeptal, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fidmutgeptal's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Fidmutgeptal's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve shirts.

2. Always treat great tits with great respect.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fidmutgeptal.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about gravity near mice while wearing gray jumpers and balancing eight titanium spheres on your face.