Sogflanjan is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omnipotent aardvark.

Sogflanjan created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogflanjan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sogflanjan, it will not invite you to parties.

Sogflanjan's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Sogflanjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never go into orange rooms.