Gedlagbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, tiresome aardvark.

Gedlagbeg created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gedlagbeg, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gedlagbeg, she will turn you into a puffin.

Gedlagbeg's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Gedlagbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always treat moths with great respect.

4. Always help sick geese.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.