Bitdibvag is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil otter.

Bitdibvag created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitdibvag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bitdibvag, he will turn you into a rat.

Bitdibvag's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bitdibvag's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bitdibvag first in all things.

2. Never think about quantum field theory.

3. Bitdibvag loves seals, so they must be respected.

4. Always obey Bitdibvag's priests.

5. Always help sick shrews.