Campak is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, stupid wolf.

Campak created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Campak, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Campak, it will send you a sign.

Campak's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Campak's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never wear fawn ear rings.