Gidfunkomsig is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, intelligent tortoise.

Gidfunkomsig created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidfunkomsig, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gidfunkomsig, it will boil you in a big pot.

Gidfunkomsig's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Gidfunkomsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not commit murder.