Negbimtom is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless naga.

Negbimtom created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Negbimtom, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Negbimtom, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Negbimtom's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Negbimtom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Negbimtom.

5. Fast once a month.