Bemyattstaf Hitappveen is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, cheerful naga.

Bemyattstaf Hitappveen created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemyattstaf Hitappveen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bemyattstaf Hitappveen, she will turn you into a hamster.

Bemyattstaf Hitappveen's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bemyattstaf Hitappveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about spacetime near great tits while wearing gray scarves.

4. Always obey Bemyattstaf Hitappveen's priests.

5. Hide if six capybaras approach from the east.