Wipvilsan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, compassionate tapir.

Wipvilsan created a Higgs boson five million years ago.

If you believe in Wipvilsan, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wipvilsan, it will turn you into a mouse.

Wipvilsan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Wipvilsan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Do not covet oxen.