Jatlikab is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unselfish mouse.

Jatlikab created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatlikab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jatlikab, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Jatlikab's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Jatlikab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. You must love Jatlikab.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Jatlikab in the centre of the settlement.