Rullpagkin is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy hydra.

Rullpagkin created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rullpagkin, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rullpagkin, it will throw large rocks at you.

Rullpagkin's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Rullpagkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always obey Rullpagkin's priests.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near gulls while wearing purple kilts and balancing six silicon spheres on your neck.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Retreat if five frogs approach from the east.