Tamtamtan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, clever horse.

Tamtamtan created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamtamtan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tamtamtan, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tamtamtan's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tamtamtan's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tamtamtan.

2. Run away from gray mice, for they are unholy.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Hide if five snails approach from the north.

5. Always look after injured tortoises.