Nuttsafbot Wipgutflan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, charitable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Nuttsafbot Wipgutflan created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttsafbot Wipgutflan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nuttsafbot Wipgutflan, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nuttsafbot Wipgutflan's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Nuttsafbot Wipgutflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near nematodes while wearing blue kilts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not drink water in green rooms.