Quimjoptadxen is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, selfish wren.

Quimjoptadxen created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimjoptadxen, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quimjoptadxen, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quimjoptadxen's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Quimjoptadxen's Holy Commandments

1. Put Quimjoptadxen first in all things.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.