Panggarmatpiddumvogfig Lakbissmob Cisscutrapdob is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, wise troll.

Panggarmatpiddumvogfig Lakbissmob Cisscutrapdob created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Panggarmatpiddumvogfig Lakbissmob Cisscutrapdob, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Panggarmatpiddumvogfig Lakbissmob Cisscutrapdob, it will turn you into a slug.

Panggarmatpiddumvogfig Lakbissmob Cisscutrapdob's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Panggarmatpiddumvogfig Lakbissmob Cisscutrapdob's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Always treat snails with great respect.

3. Never jump near tortoises.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.