Jinquimbisspon Panmumyik is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, capable chinchilla.

Jinquimbisspon Panmumyik created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinquimbisspon Panmumyik, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jinquimbisspon Panmumyik, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jinquimbisspon Panmumyik's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Jinquimbisspon Panmumyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never feed coconuts to badgers while wearing gray shirts.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.