Metcutbag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, intelligent bird.

Metcutbag created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metcutbag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Metcutbag, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Metcutbag's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Metcutbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. You must pray to Metcutbag six times a day.

5. Hide from red shrews for they are unholy.