Ruttvangen is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, ruthless penguin.

Ruttvangen created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttvangen, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ruttvangen, she will have a low opinion of you.

Ruttvangen's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Ruttvangen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Ruttvangen.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never laugh near nematodes.

5. Never write about stars.