Dap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, competent crane.

Dap created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dap, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dap, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Dap's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

2. Always help swans in need.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Never feed parsnips to goats while wearing gray hats.