Kinpomwikbif is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, able lion.

Kinpomwikbif created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinpomwikbif, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kinpomwikbif, she will make you grow a tail.

Kinpomwikbif's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Kinpomwikbif's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kinpomwikbif.

2. Do not take Kinpomwikbif's name in vain.

3. Never feed pineapples to seals while wearing yellow jumpers.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Respect your elders.