Cebtunmit is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, sage hippopotamus.

Cebtunmit created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Cebtunmit, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cebtunmit, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Cebtunmit's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Cebtunmit's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never wear stockings.