Fonpidflap Hapfebcap is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless cat.

Fonpidflap Hapfebcap created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonpidflap Hapfebcap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fonpidflap Hapfebcap, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fonpidflap Hapfebcap's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fonpidflap Hapfebcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near tapirs while wearing pink boots.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. You must love Fonpidflap Hapfebcap.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always pray immersed in water.