Dosspitnan is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, cheerful goose.

Dosspitnan created time and space six million years ago.

If you believe in Dosspitnan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dosspitnan, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dosspitnan's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Dosspitnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.