Bagdumominfasvabstikgar is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, grumpy elephant.

Bagdumominfasvabstikgar created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Bagdumominfasvabstikgar, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bagdumominfasvabstikgar, she will be very sad.

Bagdumominfasvabstikgar's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bagdumominfasvabstikgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never hurt birds.