Linpigtap Wadbepyat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, staggering wyvern.

Linpigtap Wadbepyat created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linpigtap Wadbepyat, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Linpigtap Wadbepyat, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Linpigtap Wadbepyat's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Linpigtap Wadbepyat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill capybaras.

2. Rats are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about dark matter near ants while wearing violet jumpers and balancing four gold spheres on your legs.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near nematodes while wearing indigo shirts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your head.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.