Xucktettisab is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, humorless gorilla.

Xucktettisab created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucktettisab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xucktettisab, she will turn you into a mouse.

Xucktettisab's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Xucktettisab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always help rats.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.