Sigrenlat is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, benevolent yak.

Sigrenlat created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sigrenlat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sigrenlat, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sigrenlat's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Sigrenlat's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Sigrenlat.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always treat mites with great respect.