Rilzimsis is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, quiet cow.

Rilzimsis created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Rilzimsis, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rilzimsis, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Rilzimsis' most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Rilzimsis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always help swans.

4. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

5. Do not commit murder.