Ominliknarquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a large, quiet newt.

Ominliknarquaf created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominliknarquaf, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ominliknarquaf, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ominliknarquaf's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Ominliknarquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never mention snakes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Ominliknarquaf loves horses, so they must be honoured.

5. Ominliknarquaf loves sharks, so they must be respected.