Vanappcar is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, prudent wren.

Vanappcar created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanappcar, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vanappcar, it will throw large rocks at you.

Vanappcar's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Vanappcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near swans while wearing indigo coats.

2. Worship no other gods but Vanappcar.

3. Do not speak about lemons.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vanappcar.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.