Rigcutzanbod is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, narcissistic fly.

Rigcutzanbod created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rigcutzanbod, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rigcutzanbod, she will turn you into a rock.

Rigcutzanbod's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Rigcutzanbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never chant near manatees.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near dolphins while wearing cyan tights and balancing eight silver spheres on your head.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.