Himtunsaf is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, narcissistic jaguar.

Himtunsaf created parasitic wasps four billion years ago.

If you believe in Himtunsaf, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Himtunsaf, it will turn you into a duck.

Himtunsaf's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Himtunsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never feed lots of melons to ants while wearing green corsets.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near whales while wearing orange kilts and balancing nine iron spheres on your neck.

5. Never pour water over plants.